Well, it's seven weeks since the ice incident and things finally seem to be settling down a bit. The day-to-day pain and joint grumpiness is finally reducing - it almost feels 'normal' again - I'm getting movement back and can do the stairs without too many issues so I'm fighting temptation to get back in the gym to test it out a bit.

It's three weeks until I see my consultant and, unfortunately I've only managed one physio session in that time and have nothing else booked in as my insurance company won't authorise further sessions until we have a treatment plan in place (not that I blame them, given the history on this injury) and that is taking a while.

So, what do I do in the interim?

If I can get back to what I was doing before this new injury (step ups, cycling, cross training, starting to jog again), I might start believing we can get it functional without any further intervention.

Then I remember the manner in which it 'went' when I slipped on the ice - when all the surgery and physio had been about preventing precisely that - and it feels like it's only a matter of time until it does it again, finishing off what's left of this graft and rendering the whole process pointless.

Although I've got used to the knee giving way over the years, the thought of it doing so again makes me feel sick but how will I know without testing it? And what's the point of a consultant's appointment to assess it, if I haven't been able to test it any more than walking on it anyway?

The sensible part of me is telling me one thing, while the part that would prefer to deal in facts (good or bad) is pushing me in a different direction. I suspect I know which one will win...!