It has been so long since I last wrote an update that I actually can’t remember what I wrote last time. In fact, the whole website CMS has changed so much it has taken a while to figure out how to add a new post at all! I’ve been thinking about a couple of potential entries over the last few months - or just letting the blog die out - but the domain has auto-renewed and here I am on holiday with some time - and now a reason - to update so here we are.
Without going back to check my most recent entry, I was going to make a post tying back to my ‘bracing for a brace’ post pretty early on in the blog days as I’ve finally bitten the bullet and gone ahead to purchase one.
Having been referred back to see the consultant following a pre-Covid physio session and ultimately reached the point of no further surgical options to fix this ACL, I’m still trying to navigate the land of chronic ACL deficiency without limiting life to nothing more exciting that walking on the flat.
Running remains my preferred exercise but whenever I begin to get something of a rhythm going, I just break down again and now I’ve developed bone pain in my upper shin and pain over the patellar tendon too when I run, prompting a return trip to physio last September to assess whether these new symptoms are something I just have to live with or something I can actually do something about.
The end result? Having ascertained that she couldn’t persuade me to just stop running, I finally had a referral to an orthotist to look at getting a brace to stabilise the knee and lower leg when doing so. After a consultation ("Oh yes, you really do hyperextend when standing, don't you?!"), we decided to go with the Ossur CTi OTS as first port of call.
Being relatively small, I’ve always been a bit bothered by how big these things are and how they end up looking like they’re wearing you rather than the other way around. The custom fit braces seem much sleeker (and when you're heavy of leg, that's a real consideration) but some quick desk research prior to sending the deposit unearthed a new, less bulky OTS CTi brace (CTi3) that mitigated those concerns.
Ossur's range of CTi braces L-R: Custom Fit, CTi3 and CTI OTS
For fear of sounding like a Doctor Doctor joke, once we’d established via the company that it could be used for water sports (this wasn't listed on the website where it was for their other braces) we placed the order and I returned a week later to try it for size. (I’ve never done water sports, other than hating a kayak trip off the west coast of Wales many years ago when my hands kept whacking the kayak while paddling, grazing half the skin which was then constantly splashed with salt water, but if I’m going to invest in a brace, I want to make sure it enables me to do new activities rather than preventing them so the question had to be asked. Hopefully I’m not yet too long in the tooth to give something like SUP a go, even if my wakeboarding days are pretty unlikely to happen!)
Anyway, the brace arrived and the orthotist showed me how to put it on, line it up properly and adjust the straps. Even in its low-profile form, it still seems really big and bulky to me but at least it’s not as big as it could have been. Having agreed it fit relatively well for an off the shelf model (and I can’t really justify a custom fit at this stage), the brace and I travelled home and I sneaked it into the house while the kids were in bed to avoid any questions I didn’t really want to answer at that time.
And there the brace sat, in its box, for the next few weeks while I decided how I felt about it. Pathetic, huh?
I still can’t really get past how it all feels a bit try hard and over the top for a long-standing injury, and I guess my identity as an active person has eroded quite a bit over recent years, but I also know if I want to get it back (and not just give up as I get older), it’s the best option I have. I just have to reconcile fully to that fact. I wouldn’t say I’m there but it’s a work in progress and writing this entry is probably part of that process.
Getting in the groove
I’d been advised to initially wear it around the house for an hour or so, before venturing outside for a short walk and building up the length of wear from there. No running before at least a month of breaking it in!
Working from home makes that a little easier to do without the kids seeing it so after a few weeks, I eventually tried it back on for size and wore it round the house at lunchtime. Over my jeans. Obviously. It was pretty sore initially - I’m not sure if it’s just the way my knees are shaped (apparently they are wide, hence needing a Large brace) but it was really sore where the pads press on the medial joint line and I couldn’t imaging running in it at all. Over the weeks though, I’ve got more used to it, as well as trying out different leggings to work with it. The pads are designed to stick well to skin and less so to fabric but there’s no way in hell I’m going out in shorts and the brace on bare skin - no-one needs that sight in public - so it has been a case of trial and error to work out which fabrics it works best with. (Shinier, lycra style leggings are better that cotton yoga-style ones so far, for those who are interested. 80's aerobic chic, here I come)
In an attempt to be more accountable, I’ve also started running with a friend once a week after school drop off. A quick mile or two round the local estate is enough to keep my CV fitness going alongside gym work and also provides a good chance to catch up on with each other, as well as providing moral support when I’m feeling sensitive about wearing the brace in public.
It is taking some practise to adjust the straps as I need them - they have a tendency to loosen as you run so the brace slides down a bit and then the hinge isn’t in the right place, which probably isn’t great. Genetics, years of relev´s in dance classes, or a combination of both mean I am ‘blessed’ with relatively big calves so tightening the lowest strap can help stop the slide to some extent. Then it’s a case of not setting it so tight that my calf hurts instead... It is taking a while to adapt - I’ve had all kinds of muscle strains from just the short runs we’ve done so far but I suspect those are largely related to the fact that my leg has got very used to working in a less than ideal way for the last 30 years or so and the brace now holds it in a better position, which means other muscles and tendons having to gradually adapt to new ways of working.
While it still feels a bit OTT, on balance, it is giving me more confidence to try new things without fear of the joint giving way again. I’m still having issues with pain in my upper shin and over the patellar tendon when running down hill but hopefully that will settle and we can get up to a three mile run soon. I’ll be happy at that if I can do it once a week, alongside my other activities.
Just need a clear run to start building things back up again and really start motoring.
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